Tag Archives: atheist funny
An interesting proposal to require all children in America to be educated objectively on all world religions and their histories. So as to not indoctrinate children without parents biases at an age when they cannot think for themselves.
Christians for Child Education (CFE) in Houston, Texas today, formally lobbied against Science being taught in the classroom, on the basis that it is too hard. The CFE condemns Science as challenging, blasphemousness, and immorally lacks necessary faith based suppositions. The CFE insists that faith is much easier to “simply know” and proclaim with absolute certainty. The CFE attempted to draw upon Science nomenclature, claiming that pure uncomplicated faith is called for by “Ockmed’s Blazer,” and that Science needlessly over complicates learning and hypotheses.
“It [Science] is nothing more but the secular, liberal, abortion hungry, Atheist, blasphemy machine of Socialism, and so called Ph.D.’s offensively calling for rigidly, unholy empirical testing, which demands data to support a theory with evidence,” roared CFE spokesman Stanley ChristianPinkerton, as he furiously pounded his fist on the podium at a “Separation of Church and Reading” Rally this morning, to the overwhelming applause of over 1,000 slack jawed, dead eyed, Bible Belt, Born again Yokels.
Christian Surveys across the Evangelical Churches spectrum showed that 92% of Christians want to abolish Science, which makes learning an inconvenient, wicked, over complicated nuisance that corrupts the soul and simply leaves Christian children confused. The remaining 8% polled could not read the survey, but said they are on God’s side of this issue.
God, a major figure in Christianity was not answering prayers for comments.
Karen Armstrong is a wonderfully well read expert on historicity of the Bible Q’uaran, and the Jewish Bible. She is very liberal. Probably a believer, however very professional and not talk of theology. Only a scholar speaking upon what we know what, or hasn’t happened in Christianity or the Other religions. I like her as much as Bart D. Ehrman (PH.d.)
Karen Armstrong spent seven years in the Society of the Holy Child Jesus during the 1960s and later wrote a tell-all book, “Through the Narrow Gate” (St. Martin’s Press, 1982) that bemoaned the restrictive life. (The frightened nuns did not know the Cuban missile crisis of 1962 had ended for several weeks; they were not allowed to inquire about the outside world.) Armstrong is still hearing about the book: “Catholics in England hate me. They’ve sent me excrement in the mail.” Readers who have followed her lately are learning her more optimistic ideas about what Islam, Judaism and Christianity have in common with A History of God (Ballantine, 1993), Jerusalem: One City, Three Faiths (Knopf, 1996) and The Battle for God (Knopf, 2000) which all focus on what unites the three great monotheist faiths. Continue reading
Dear Christians Brothers and Sisters. The Apocalypse and triumphant return of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is all going according to Divine Plan.However, The Second Coming of Our Lord and Personal Savior Jesus Christ and the sold out performance of “The Battle of Armageddon” have both been delayed, once again. I know everyone is eager for the Big Event, so this is understandably disappointing. However we are all used to this by now so there is no need to get irritated if you are a ticket holder. We just need to stay patient.
Everyone should just go about your normal day but don’t ever stop constantly being hyper-vigilant and watching the skies for his certain and immediate glorious second coming. Jesus is probably on his way at this moment. Remember Anything is possible – with faith and with God.
Remember that faith does not use question marks. So by “Faith” I mean mindless, unquestioning, total acceptance, and stubbornly maintaining this belief despite all evidence to the contrary.
And by “God” I mean absolutely nothing – nothing at all. Once again though, don’t think, just know it emotionally. That is all the proof that you need, regardless of what so called “formal logic” or wily Scientists may say about “experimental design.” Continue reading