Christians for Child Education (CFE) in Houston, Texas today, formally lobbied against Science being taught in the classroom, on the basis that it is too hard. The CFE condemns Science as challenging, blasphemousness, and immorally lacks necessary faith based suppositions. The CFE insists that faith is much easier to “simply know” and proclaim with absolute certainty. The CFE attempted to draw upon Science nomenclature, claiming that pure uncomplicated faith is called for by “Ockmed’s Blazer,” and that Science needlessly over complicates learning and hypotheses.
“It [Science] is nothing more but the secular, liberal, abortion hungry, Atheist, blasphemy machine of Socialism, and so called Ph.D.’s offensively calling for rigidly, unholy empirical testing, which demands data to support a theory with evidence,” roared CFE spokesman Stanley ChristianPinkerton, as he furiously pounded his fist on the podium at a “Separation of Church and Reading” Rally this morning, to the overwhelming applause of over 1,000 slack jawed, dead eyed, Bible Belt, Born again Yokels.
Christian Surveys across the Evangelical Churches spectrum showed that 92% of Christians want to abolish Science, which makes learning an inconvenient, wicked, over complicated nuisance that corrupts the soul and simply leaves Christian children confused. The remaining 8% polled could not read the survey, but said they are on God’s side of this issue.
God, a major figure in Christianity was not answering prayers for comments.